Here is my grateful list -of regrets, that I now recognize as regrets
I regret telling the rabbit story
I regret telling the rabbit story more than once
I regret being so careless with my wedding ring
I hope it turns up
I regret not seeing her vision book (of her hopes and dreams) before now knowing that I would not have had the same appreciation for it if I had
I regret not taking more pictures and movies of her
I regret not saying that I loved and cherished her more often than I did. and I constantly did
I regret that we weren’t able to do everything on her list that she wanted to do
I regret that we rushed our trips instead of taking our time
I regret Ruth and I not being able to maintain a relationship with my father during this time
These are all would have, should have, could haves
I guess you could say I regret not saying everything I should have said or doing everything I could have done
I regret ignoring her letter to me a long time ago -This is my biggest regret
This list would certainly make mom laugh and cry. She loved your slightly off sense of humor, caring and thoughtfulness, handsome eyes, every way you loved her. I don’t need to tell you this. She left enough lists of gratitude to you for making all of her dreams come true. I know her only regret was not having more time. She always said every day was a perfect honeymoon with you. Right now I am most grateful for the amazing father figure mom brought into our lives. I love you Dave
But the rabbit story is hilarious. Partly because it’s shocking. But still funny.
Dave, this took such incredible courage and presence to write. I am in awe of you. Thank you for sharing your raw honesty with us, thank you for opening your heart and showing us love in a real and beautiful way.
When I visited Ruth, I told her the story of my daughter losing our spare set of car keys. I thought she would just laugh at the story, but as always, she had a piece of beautiful advice for me (always thinking of others!) she said, “Envision the keys in your hand. Hold that vision, of you holding them, and they’ll turn up.”
I am envisioning your ring on your finger.
Love,
Crystal
Oh PS, we found them less than a week later, after I followed her advice. Of course!
Two are better than one and so…
I envision the ring on your finger as well Dave.
By the way, Ruth did not regret you being you.
She loved you completely.