All posts by Melissa

“This is my dream. I’ll decide where I go from here.”

It’s been awhile since I felt grateful, but it’s true that if you wait long enough joy sneaks in.

It’s been a time of losses, close and far away. I watched one friend leave behind three children at age 40. Now another friend with three children is losing her husband at age 40. Suddenly, having 40 years with my parents still alive feels like a blessing taken for granted. Memory issues seem a bit smaller. I’m grateful for less than ideal problems that still give us time.

I’m grateful for unexpected furry companions that helped fill the void of the many we lost. They are slowly pulling us out of the darkness. We took a chance on a cat from a feral colony and another chance on a foster dog and our house feels like a home again.

Thankful for family who always wait patiently until I’m ready to be nudged back into the world again. Grateful for time to grieve and heal, and welcoming arms with no questions asked.

The power of songs to take me deep into my grief, and other songs to pull me out again.

Another day, another chance, and the often overlooked opportunity to change direction at a moments notice to follow a happier path.

That feeling of waking up early on a Saturday and climbing back into bed. Going to make vegan biscuits and gravy today, and then off to kayaking. Blue skies and a warm day predicted.

I did most of the items on my gratitude challenge this week. I had to drag myself to a few, but because of that I got to enjoy getting my grocery shopping done during the week (a LONG day but well worth it now), a bike ride at sunset, the feeling of painted nails, two peaceful walks and digging in the garden. A change of perspective and experience does a body and soul good.

Having people in your life who wait for you to have time. Worth their weight in gold.

My brave new rattie girl suddenly seems spooked. I thought she would make Grimly brave, but he seems to have pulled her in his direction. Grateful for the challenge of getting to know her better on her terms.

A job, a roof over my head, enough money to get by where needed and a family of furry and not so furry friends. “When you love what you have, you have everything you need.”

Take a breath and let the rest come easy…

It’s funny how hard it is to find peace within our own cycles. The unexplained highs and lows. The ebb and flow. I feel grateful that (most of the time) I can let uncomfortable emotions pass naturally without making things worse. I think some lessons are lifelong works in progress.

To that end, it’s time to return to my daily mindfulness calendar, with small tasks each day that I know increase my well being. Take a walk. Bake cookies. Kiss each critter. Watch a sunset… Funny that I need to be reminded of these simple joys – but I think I’m ready for another 30-day challenge. I still love looking through the photos from the last one.

Thankful again for a lot of extra time with a sick, older furry companion. She was a shining example of finding love and joy in the hard parts. She left tough shoes to fill, but an energetic rescue gal shows us that life does go on. The new girl is a firecracker, but there is love there as well.

Feeling especially appreciative of slow days, good weather and a determination to be grateful. “When all your desires are distilled you will cast two votes: To love more, and be happy.”

“What do you pack when you pursue a dream? And what do you leave behind?”

Another week of progress. Learning to enjoy the journey, the bliss of forward motion – the destination is not a guarantee and re-routes are inevitable.

Finding a great audiobook just when I need to spend a whole day sewing.

The final stretch of getting out of debt. The closer I get the less the setbacks bother me. I chose the long route but in the best company. I wouldn’t trade these furry companions for anything.

A hot shower in the dark when the power goes out. Thankful to start the day warm, and even more thankful when the heat kicks back on. The sudden thanks for light, heat, work, and daily fortunes usually taken for granted.

Another week with all who are important still by my side. One sick kitty on the mend. Thankful for the vet who eased our worries, as well as the meds we have in case the cold does not ease over the weekend.

That feeling when your body hits the bed when you are truly exhausted. Absolute bliss. No alarm on Saturday morning. No alarm on Sunday either.

Finally a Sunday to just sit back and enjoy. What promise an empty day holds.

Slow days

The calm after the storm. It takes awhile for my stress level to catch up with the present moment, but I’m so thankful for a “normal” day. Zuzu’s surgery went great. All my little ones still by my side. And the first snowfall of the season. I’ll make some tea and some time again.

“When you love what you have, you have everything you need.”

  • Thankful that Zuzu’s lungs are stronger than they sound – strong enough to carry her through her tumor removal!!!
  • Thankful for the cone that Zuzu hates, for keeping her from reopening her incision.
  • Thankful for more time. All the stress and worry but hopefully the right decision was made. Grimly will have his companion back in a couple of days. Their stories make my story worthwhile.

– Finally updating my password to something I’ll remember, so I’ll actually post when the urge strikes.

– A postponement for Zuzu’s surgery that I’m undecided about, 30 minutes before we were going to leave. For the next two days, the decision is out of my hands. Let’s leave Wednesday for Wednesday and just enjoy the moment. Easier said than done, but I’m trying.

– An unexpected acknowledgement and praise for work I’ve done. Makes long hours and sacrifices worth it.

– Support from loved ones when I fall part. Lots of pets means a lot of anxiety and second guessing, but also fulfilling days and companionship.

– Very close to being out of debt. A long time in the making, but a lot of great lessons learned.

– Another day, another chance. There is beauty and hope in the unknown.

Circles

– Relearning lessons. I thought the path to gratitude and happiness would be easier, but it’s not a “once and done”. I fall into the same traps, but remind myself that I have tried and true tools once I’m ready to step back into the sunshine again.

– Grief is happiness remembered. I lost a lovely companion and it affected me even more than anticipated. The wallowing got the best of me, but I’m happy to once again be thankful for the 14 months spent together. It was an amazing experience and we treasured every moment of it. Some little furries give us more than ever expected.

– Feeling grateful for the simple luxury of blue skies and summer days. We spent most of our summer engulfed in fire smoke, and it’s nice to feel like summer was not missed entirely. Thankful that our home was not threatened this year, since I know many were not so lucky.

– Feeling grateful for others who also share their stumbles along the road to happiness. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in something that should be so simple. :)

3 things…

— I am thankful for the time that we’ve had with Bagerra despite discovering such a scary birth defect. I will choose to remember that he has been like this his whole life, and there is no expiration date now just because of it. Our time with him is whatever we make of it. <3

— I am thankful for awareness – for the opportunity to see optimism and gratitude within worry and sadness. For the memories that enable me to endure passings with gratitude for what we had. For making better choices and weakening my addictive comforts. Life may seem harder at times, but it is more worthwhile.

— A journey I never expected, with more companions than I ever dreamed. I am still here, still kicking, still fighting, still loving. I have a roof over my head, am managing to take care of my little ones, and am learning to take care of myself as well. Its not about the ending, but the story, and I have had a good one.

The balance of knowing when to change, and what to choose. <3

Grateful for possible solutions in front of me. It has been a long few months of pet issues and I felt like I hit a wall. But seasons change and new possibilities present themselves. Each gives  a sense of hope.

Thankful for the rough weeks, as they quickly remind me where my priorities lie. Working from home, things sometimes become muddled. I’m learning to focus on where I want those boundaries to lie. Making more time for what counts.

Having people in your life that understand when you are short on time or energy – worth its weight in gold.

A sunny day on your two days off in a rainy week. Nature is beckoning and I hear the call.

A cookie at the end of a tiring day. Someone handing you a precooked meal at the end of a long week. Love is in the simple gestures and greatly appreciated.

The feel of a job well done at the end of the week. Guilt free rest on the days off.

The overwhelming joy of cats by my side at the end of the night – a reminder of the importance of work/life balance. #1 focus and I’ve been missing the mark.

Kind words from like-minded strangers showing me the gratitude I sometimes overlook. A constant reminder that perspective can turn a day around. <3