1. God

2. I didn’t know, after your sister was born, that I could love another child as much, and the day you were born and I saw you for the first time I realized there is all my love for both of you and there is only love.

3. You are named after your maternal Grandfather, as you know, whose father left him when he was a child,  Grandpa David is a remarkably skilled, intelligent, good-humored man and he has always been a fighter.  I feared that I would likewise leave you, and while it was necessary for Chris and I to split, I have never left you in person and in my heart.  “Why don’t you live with me, Dad,” you asked one night, at the age of four.  A lot to absorb for a young one.  Divorce.  Blending families. Different sets of rules. Back and forth between houses.  Too much.

4. Your mother called you “Little Bean.”

5. Your love of music from the beginning, stories and laughter.  “Ride on top,” you would say, and you would go upon my shoulders and we’d walk all over town.  And when you became enchanted with lawn mowers, we’d go in search of those. Don’t know what the householders thought of it as we watched them cut their grass.  And the man who came to mow the neighbors’ lawn and you imitating him on the other side of the fence with your toy mower.

6. The sight of you covered in chocolate after mashing a cupcake into your face at your second birthday.

7. The picture of us by the sea on one of our Maine vacations, you wearing my hat.

8.”You’re always seeing, Dad, and nothing ever happens.”

9. How you took to the bass and played with Zac and the other teacher at school, a song you wrote, and Brian asked for your autograph.

10. Your misgivings about going to the music camp open house.  “We’ll go check it out, David,” I said, “and if it stinks, we’ll leave.”  Then you took the bass and unprompted played the chords to “In Bloom,” and I don’t remember how you finally stopped and gave another kid a chance to play.  And the concerts every week in the summer and your following.

11. All your obsessive interests, from Thomas to the Minutemen (the soldiers not the punk rock band)  to Pokemon to Bey Blades to Yugio, to video games, to the point where you reverse engineered the game equipment yourself, started making videos yourself playing the games, taught yourself DOS.

12. I am not the best father, and maybe not much of an example as a man.  I have treated you cruelly on occasion and have not been there to support you out of fear and sickness.  I am here for you today to make sure you get the best.  You are enough as you are, there’s nothing “wrong” with you, and help is available, and I believe you know what you want and what to do and that is my wish for you.  I want you to do what you love and find your way to do it and I’ll support you to make it happen.

And Emily says you’ll love high school and find your peeps and your niche.

Love from Dad