It’s been a rough week at school for my oldest & today was sort of the worst. I’m feeling a bit down because of it but here I am, going to try to find some things to be grateful for from today – I know they are there, I just have to do a little digging today is all…

Today I Am Grateful:

1) That hubby was home to take the kids to school in the 1 degree weather we had this morning. He even went out just early enough to warm up the car for all of them. Thank You Baby! ♥

2) For the quiet time that hubby & I enjoyed this morning after the boys were at school. It’s been a little while since we could both just stay home and simply spend time together – no errands, nothing pressing to do – just enjoyed the company of one another.

3) For teachers who really do care about their students – the teacher for my oldest is trying really hard this year to work with him on improving his classroom behaviors and really doing the things he knows he should be doing (but for reasons yet unknown he chooses not to). The teacher always strives to find the positives in my oldest’s day, even when sometimes that’s a little tougher than others. I know he’s going to help make a difference for my son.

4) That, even at the young age of 6, my youngest tries to be such a little peacemaker. He does not like to see anyone sad for long and will sometimes go out of his way to cheer someone up or help them in any way he can. He really does try to help his older brother too, it’s sweet to see.

5) For tears – sometimes they cleanse, sometimes they heal, sometimes they just are – they’re a gift that doesn’t always get used often enough (especially by guys). I had a bit of a cry tonight, but I know I need a good, deep cleansing cry soon – a lot of stress has built up and somehow, even with the headache after – I always feel better and lighter after a good cry.

Yesterday, I Cried
by Iyanla Vanzant

I came home, went straight to my room,
Sat on the edge of my bed,
kicked off my shoes,
Unhooked my bra,
And had myself a good cry.

I’m telling you,
I cried until my nose was running all over
the silk blouse I got on sale.
I cried until my ears were hot.
I cried until my head was hurting so bad
that I could hardly see the pile of
soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.

I want you to understand,
I had myself a really good cry yesterday.

Yesterday, I cried,
for all the days that I was too busy,
or too tired,
or too mad to cry.

I cried for all the days, and all the ways,
and all the times I had dishonored,
disrespected, and
disconnected my Self from myself,
only to have it reflected back to me
in the ways others did to me
the same things I had already done to myself.

I cried for all the things I had given,
only to have them stolen;
for all the things I had asked for that
had yet to show up;
for all the things I had accomplished,
only to give them away,
to people in circumstances,
which left me feeling empty,
and battered and plain old used.

I cried because there really does
come a time when the only thing left
for you to do is cry.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because little boys get
left by their daddies;
and little girls get forgotten by their mommies;
and daddies don’t know what to do, so they leave;
and mommies get left, so they get mad.

I cried because I had a little boy,
and because I was a little girl,
and because I was a mommy
who didn’t know what to do,
and because I wanted my daddy to be there
for me so badly until I ached.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because I hurt.
I cried because I was hurt.
I cried because hurt has no place to go
except deeper into the pain that
caused it in the first place,
and when it gets there,
the hurt wakes you up.

I cried because it was too late.
I cried because it was time.

I cried because my soul knew that I didn’t know
that my soul knew everything I needed to know.

I cried a soulful cry yesterday,
and it felt so good.

It felt so very, very bad.

In the midst of my crying,
I felt my freedom coming,
Because Yesterday,
I cried with an agenda.