Facing what lies ahead is far beyond difficult.  Not facing it is not an option.  Discovering the hidden gifts in the situation help me navigate the ever shifting path with more confidence, more courage and always, with hope.  I am grateful for these hidden gifts:

Three brothers – my beloved nephews, have been spending rare hours together, to gather pictures and memories for me.  They tell me how much fun they are having doing that.  They’re laughing, talking, reminiscing.  They say it’s great therapy.  And it would not have happened had my future not suddenly grown so dark.  That’s a powerful gift!

One of my favorite former students (and wonderful friend) moved to a distant state a few years ago.  Since I may not see her again,  I sent her a message to make sure she knew how she had touched my life.  She quickly replied with the perfect response.   An enriching, heart-overflowing moment.

Three young children who made my life so rich and full and fun, but with whom I had lost touch.  With a single email, I learned that they had been missing me, as I had been missing them.  It won’t be long until they will be visiting me.  That day will have hearts and fireworks and lots of smiley faces on my calendar.

Our family dinner together at our favorite restaurant was not what I had hoped.  It was the worst service and meal I’ve ever experienced.  I spoke up. Far more than I ever have, shocking my husband and daughters.  I have learned to set boundaries.  Family, conversation, connecting with those that I love is my most important work right now.  And I will do it with gusto!

An evening sitting with my 2 daughters and my husband.  Doing normal things together.  Holding hands, talking, laughing.  Bittersweet perfection.

Receiving an email from my North Carolina brother, telling me how he and his family felt that their trip to Ohio this past weekend was the greatest trip they had taken together.  The pinnacle of happiness appears in the midst of sorrow.  Thank you!

Enjoying frequent calls from my sister.  This seemingly unbearable tragedy is giving us opportunity after opportunity to love and support each other.  She has a special ring tone on my phone.  Every time I hear it, I smile.  “Well, hello there!!!”

I tell my husband that I want to memorize every inch of him so that I will always remember.  He takes my hand and slides it over one of his legs, and says, “You’re welcome!”  I go from tears to giggles in a nano-second.

There are so many people that I know want to reach out to me, but the whole situation is too big and dark and frightening.  I understand.  I hope and pray for courage for all of us.  If you are unable to find the words, or you are consumed by anger or sadness or paralyzed by fear. I understand and will still love you forever.

So eager for this week.  I will have visits from a number of my dearest friends, whom I seldom see.  It excites me more than I say.  There will be tears and giggles, love and laughter, chatter and hugs.  And if I was not facing the darkness, all these opportunities would never have appeared.

Hidden gifts fill me with hope