Why talk about tears on a grateful list? Because tears are cleansing and releasing and inevitable. Happy tears, exhausted tears, fearful tears,frustrated tears and unreleased tears.

Grateful for the tears of joy as I Face Timed with family on Easter. Just a week ago. Time has changed its format to slow motion.

Tired from doing nothing. Tired of doing nothing.No desire to do anything. But I read. Ah! I discovered the Libby App to download books from the library. Three books loaded and three reserved. I wrestled with technology and I won.

I avoid the news because this time we are in is complicated by media sensationalism. My first advice to anyone who is getting overwhelmed is to stop watching the news. Even the weather makes me cry.

I feel obsolete in this crisis. Many are making masks. Some have lists of people they check in with. Some send cards. The very brave still  have to work.I tried to reach out to some but it threatened my balance. I am struggling just to stay afloat. But I am.

True frustration was trying to order from Door Dash. I couldn’t get it to work.  It brought me to tears and a burning anger at the whole situation.  I inwardly scream “I tried!” when I see the email saying your food is ready. Best tears are angry tears because they release the anger and frustration and fear of the past,the present and the future.

Hubby picks up the phone and orders dinner. We go and get it. Simple times no password necessary.

I wish I could cry more often. Thanks Crystal for your permission to cry. Instead I hold it in and I can’t move forward. Paralyzed by a different disease that those suffering from COVID 19. Pray for inner rain!