This past Friday, my family suffered a sudden loss of one of our own. What is making this loss harder is that he was only 27 and that we don’t know what happened. Test results that could give us an answer can take anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 months to come back because they have to run every test they have (he was an officer, that’s why I say they have to, the department wants answers just as much as the family). While my own views of death and dying are probably vastly different than most of my family (I am not so much grieving the loss of my young cousin, I am grieving for the pain that is being caused from his death) I am grieving in my own way and time. So, in his memory and in case anyone from my family reads this post, my list today is dedicated to the many ways to help deal with grief…
If anyone has any other ideas, please feel free to share them…
Please say prayers for my family – send them thoughts of love & light, of healing, of peace… Thank You.
1. Take Time to Fully Experience Grief (never be ashamed of your feelings, whether it’s grief or even anger – Give yourself permission to not rush through grief)
2. Find a Strong Support System (reach out to family and friends, you never know who will be the best rock for you)
3. Spend Time with Animals (their love is always unconditional and unending)
4. Start a Project (start a grief journal, dump everything there and don’t be ashamed of your feelings, just let it out)
5. Volunteer (volunteer somewhere your loved one might have, or somewhere you can help make a difference in someone else’s life)
6. Plant A Memorial Tree (whether in your own yard or through a Forest Preserve or Park District)
7. Make A Treasure Box (put in it things that will remind you of good memories of and with your loved one)
8. Make Pillows Or A Quilt Out Of Your Loved One’s T-Shirts (or other clothes) (you can hold a part of them close to you when you need a hug or just because)
9. Exercise (whether it’s going for a short walk around the neighborhood or going to the gym, moving will help you pour your grief (and sometimes anger) into something healthy)
10. Find Every Reason And Moment To Tell Someone You Love Them (because life is just way to short no matter what)
11. Cry (sometimes, nothing helps more than to just cry)
12. Read Books On Grief (a google search should help you find some)
13. Listen To Music (whether to lift you up or to help you cry is up to you)
14. Give To A Charity (make a donation in your loved one’s name to honor them and help someone else)
15. Learn The Five Stages Of Grief (sometimes they don’t fall “in order” versus how you’re feeling and that’s okay – learn them and know at some time you’ll go through them – knowing is half the battle sometimes) They are: Denial/Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance
