All posts by Holly

The Struggle

There are times when I struggle to remain in contact with the endless list of things to be grateful for.  I know they are always there, always with me, and yet, according to my “mood” or circumstances – I experience a barrier that keeps me from feeling them.  Today is one of those days.  So, today these are the things that I noticed and felt…

  1. Abby waking me up to remind me that I need to walk.
  2. The quiet moments in the morning, when I’m outside and can hear the birds singing all through the neighborhood.
  3. Cold watermelon for breakfast.
  4. Remembering, even in the face of the duldrums – to help someone else.
  5. Conversations with BJ.
  6. An unexpected invitation.
  7. The wealth of talent, skills, abilities and passion I witness from my co-workers.
  8. Getting this giant fly out of my office (ugh!)
  9. Yesterdays drumming circle demonstration – what fun we had!
  10. God

In the questioning place…

the precdecedent for change, shifting and growth is the questioning place, that place where all that all I knew to be true, may not be any longer and I question those ingrained, imprinted programs that govern my body, mind and spirit.

  1. Am I looking without seeing?
  2. Are my feelings/inklings true and correct?
  3. Is the questioning place a waste of more time do I just need to be in the moment?
  4. Am I deluding myself and my thinking?
  5. Am I weak because I SHOULD be beyond this place right now?
  6. Knowing that when I use the word SHOULD, I’m dumping unrealistic expectations upon myself.
  7. What really is my mission?
  8. God has the answers.
  9. All I have to do is ask.
  10. And it is already done.
  11. All of you!

Ahhhhh…

I’ve just returned from vacation where I spent days in the sun floating in a salt water pool and someone I love brought me the most delicious meals and drinks.  And then there was the wonderful experience of tandem floating – separate, yet together – tethered by a gentle touch and soulful silence. 

1.  Peace full time.

2.  Beloved family members.

3.  Sunshine.

4. Scrambled eggs and asparagus for breakfast.

5.  Loving, Loving, Loving myself.

6.  Mornings by the pool.

7.  Mr. Popper’s Penguins.

8.  A safe return home.

9,  So energized for return to work.

10.  A clean desk, a fresh start, renewed energy – loving light – and all of you.

Where there is love…

Thank God for all of you and your lists, there is just no way for me to stay in a “funky” mood after reading through them!  The listing, Belle, all of you…the effect this energizes within me – this is love.

1.  God’s love permeates every cell in my body, every thought, word, action and deed – heart, spirit, soul.

2.  My son – who has the most joyful and silly sense of humor.

3.  Abby – is there anything more loving than a big furry friend, who waits at the top of the steps just for me every day.

4.  Joey – the voice I hear saying “I love you” first thing in the morning and the last thing at night.

5.  Bobbette – one of the most loving people I have ever met – a wise and soulful woman, who possesses a spirit so large and joyous that it fills a room and is contageous.

6.  Laura – who is a very dear friend and whose intentions are loving.  Her laugh lights up a room.

7.  Terry – she is the most honest person, and very passionate, she is the person that I might not speak with or see for many moons and when I do, it is like I did yesterday.

8.  All the people that I work with – each of them a guiding light.

9.  All of you – compassionate, honest, loving, spirited individuals who remind me that positivity abounds.

10. Me – a loving, honest, bright and shiny woman, a healer.  I finally recognize that in loving and celebrating myself that I inadvertently teach others to do the same.

Ok, the Universe has very gently bumped me in the head

I’ve had one of those moments when things become clear in my heart and in my head and will now be taking an action.

1.  My neighbors opened a yoga/meditation studio.

2. My oldest and dearest friend is finishing her training to become a yoga instructor.

3. My oldest and dearest friend was recently staying at my home along with a new friend and they both shared their yoga experience and then did yoga in my living room.

4.  In my recent travels, I have passed more yoga studios than I care to acknowledge.

5.  I went to the doctor yesterday – there was a yoga studio next door.

6.  Several members of a committee I co-chair practice yoga and recommended it to me (again!).

7. Silly me, that I had thought that I had to be “healthy” to practice yoga.

8.  The idea is for the yoga to assist me to get “healthier”.

9.  I’m calling the studio today.

10. Thank God, this has been a gentle bump from the universe.

Todays mystery gratitude

Today I find myself in a place not in touch with gratitude – it’s the mystery place, the place where all the same wonder exists, yet I am not quite in touch today.  So here goes…

1.  A wonderful time with my parents on Fathers Day.

2.  My job

3. Watermelon

4. My bills are paid.

5. Air Conditioning

6. A new computer at work.

7. That I have a home, my sanctuary, a safe place.

8.  Sun shining through the windows.

9. Abby barking at me.

10. Good Night and Good Mornings from Joey.

Lead with Your Heart…

Simple actions with heartfelt intention are so powerful and life changing.

  1. God lets me know when those around me need a hug.
  2. My heart tells me when I need a hug, and to do something soft and soothing for myself.
  3. I’ve been practicing saying what is in my heart, totally and fully as finding my voice is new.
  4. When I take a food pantry order at work, I hold in my heart compassion for those who are in need.
  5. B is such a special person – I believe in my heart, she has been sent just for me…to learn from, to listen to, as a mentor, a colleague, a spiritual advisor.
  6. I didn’t want to, and I taped and painted anyway – I was pleasantly surprized at how a simple action changed my outlook. 
  7. Removing, processing, peeling, sorting through,letting go of…all those layers that covered my heart for so long.
  8. Joey’s heart, right next to mine – again, after a 37 year hiatus.
  9. Heartburn (lol) in a figurative way – it’s when your heart is so full of passion.
  10. All of your hearts, that have touched mine.

There is nothing better than this moment…

After having a seemingly “bad” day yesterday and reading all of your lists, I experienced an immediate change in my thinking, feeling and believing.

  1. All of your lists.
  2. Even in my “funkiest” of moods, I am able to listen, really listen to someone else.
  3. Divine intervention – you know those moments – when God sends you a message or messenger and there is the confirmation that it is God’s will.
  4. Creamed Spinach.
  5. Unlimited long distance.
  6. Joey’s sense of humor – what a goofball!
  7. Recognition that peoples intentions are not necessarily what they communicate and that it is only a faulty communication, not a faulty person.
  8. Mushy text messages.
  9. Working on teaching goals as part of my job.
  10. Seeing brilliance as bright as diamonds in people.

Grateful each day (and it’s FRIDAY)

It is the close of yet another very productive work week – when I say productive – it refers to all types of progress – body, mind, spirit and soul, thoughts, words, actions and deeds.

  1. Email with a calendar that reminds me to do things.
  2. lunch delivered.
  3. Holding space for another to be clear.
  4. People come with their own answers.
  5. A friend who understands that all things are energy and energy effects all things.
  6. Air mattresses for company to sleep on.
  7. My friend is becoming a certified yoga instructor and while she is visiting me, she is teaching me yoga.
  8. Chakras
  9. Asking a question, instead of assuming I have the answer for another.
  10. When I use the wrong words, when my intentions are misunderstood, when I’m closed to possibilities – the universe sends me a message or lesson – thank God, they have not been to harsh!

Mixed Feelings…

This is the anniversary of my sisters death – my only sibling, who I was honored to take care of on her way to back to Gods heart.

  1. Being able to feel – deeply, a multitude of emotions rather than numbness.
  2. Everything, absolutely everything is a gift – I sometimes experience a “vision” problem” which disallows me to see them.
  3. Today, I will use my presence to quietly and lovingly hold space for someone else.
  4. Watermelon, which is inexpensive and so delicious cold and I can share it with Bobbette and Gina in the morning at work.
  5. All the wonderful people at the ReStore
  6. TM – my supervisor, who has given me the most wonderful example of what compassion, empathy and true leadership looks like in action.
  7. Prayer
  8. Grief
  9. Tears, which may be shed in times of joy and sorrow
  10. Cellphones and text messages, which in the blink of an eye can send a sentiment.