When I asked months ago to change where I work, my request was rejected. Now, out of the blue, I am moving. If it was years ago I would ask why, why me.. and I would fall into an endless blame, comoplain viscous cycle. As time goes by, and God is giving me from his wisdom, and life guclvung me lessons and insights, I started being proactive, by asking myself now that it has happened, what can I do?. The doors opened, and I am not surprised that  I am going to a better place. Uncertainty in not bad, uncertainty is a bless!. I am worried, but not anxious. I smile when I overthinking, I admire when I am tired of thinking, because I know it is just my mind manipulating my present moment  and I am gonna let it take a shot, take a several shots actually, then  comes the time when life happens, facts, truths, reality , and my mind will start to refresh, and get access to the new updates. Hey, Anxiety you are my fear based emotion, and you are born out of negative expectations, but I expected the best, and prepared for the worst, what will happen didn’t concern me, I will respond with faith not fear. Grateful for my desire to grow and develop, that is much more than my desire to feel happy and constantly gratified, which, over the time teach me precious lessons about me, it is untangling my flaws with patience.

Grateful for yesterday ;
Grateful for spending sometime with a friend, and laughing out loud while watching the Italian actor Roberto Beningni ‘s scene at the movie Night on earth.

https://youtu.be/N99Ps4nLBGU

Grateful for enjoying my prepared meals so much. Grateful for how it feels to eat something you really like and it is healthy as well. Grateful for oat omlette at the morning with a hot cup of coffe. Grateful for oat pasta and chicken. Grateful for vegetables, zucchini, carrot, green peas, green beans Brookley. Grateful for besmati rice with cari

++In the last week
+Grateful for my friend, who helped me with the right connections to reach the right persons at the right time.

+Grateful for learning that reaching out of my comfort zone, might be confusing, uncomfortable at first, but at the end it always turns out to be more comfortable than I was inside my comfortable zone.


+ Grateful for that feeling of God’s hand in my life.



++ Something from each of my senses I am grateful for that today :

+ Smelling coffee, taking deep breaths after I woke up, listening to calming piano concerto no 2 by Chopin seeing the sunlight moments after sunrise , tasting cinnamon and oats, feeling the warmth of water during my hot shower.

++Grateful that

+I am tired, exhausted physically but not attached to my previous destructive behaviors that I usually do when I am worn out. Grateful that binge eating is not me, it was a part of me at sometime when I did not have the willingness to cope with stress, anxiety, or over thinking.

+I am overthinking, but today  i am aware of it. Uncertainty is not a bad thing, and for the times I worried and overthinked, things just work out for the best. The facts are ; the things I was uncertain of, overwhelmed by turns out to be blessings, and they guided, sponsored my growth. Uncertainty comes from too much thinking of the future, expecting too much or too low are both harmful, just proact, expect the  and prepare for the worst. Uncertainty is fear and fear is delusional, and it will always be. Uncertainty is not something to base what I am doing in my day to day basis on, it is something to be aware of, it might happens that things became worse, but not apa the times, and even though, you learn from dark times, you appreciate good times.

Gratitude journal

Every day 
Grateful for today. Grateful for being in good health. Grateful for feeling excited about today. Grateful for yesterday. Grateful for the rest that gave my body and mind energy to go through the day. Grateful for tomorrow. Grateful for seeing my aunts, my grandparents. Grateful for the quality time with my parents.

Affirmations with  gratitude 
Grateful for knowing that I will succeed because I am focused and passionate about my goal. Grateful for getting the opportunity to be focused in those days full of distractions, but there is a solution to everything, there is tools that helped me get focused, like panadora breaks, and prioritizing my tasks. Grateful for getting the opportunity to be passionate about something in this broad range of sciences, professions, and even that I don’t work in the field I feel myself will fit into, but I always think being patient is a key ،besides continuous effort toward my goal of course.

狼 Those tiny things

+Setting down in the kitchen, while preparing my food, and feeling this  rest in my body, calmness in my mind . I thought, at the same time, how my mother at her age and even when she was young had tolerated hours in the kitchen  just standing, preparing things for us, this is happening day after working for full day, and making chores at home and outside of it  for us as well, I thought I am grateful for my mom being in my life.  Unconditional love, and endless blessings, but I didn’t use to think like that, I used to address blame, and pass judgments on her, but I am learning that their is a more helpful, responsible, respectful, blesseful way to think about it, she also didn’t have something to direct her, to give her time and thought, her parents did what they also learned, they made money, made food, been there for their children covering their needs. To learn is my responsibility. To evolve is my responsibility. To live is my responsibility. To heal is my responsibility. To find myself is my responsibility. To create myself is my responsibility. To take care of myself is my responsibility. To help others, to feel others, to be able to be compassionate is my responsibility, duty.

‘Kidding ‘
A remarkable series by Jim Carrey, where he discusses indirectly  his own experience in life, I think, in the most compassionate, an actor can reflect on his own life, way written yet. Grateful for the emotions I felt while watching it. I felt grief, joy, misery, enjoyment, love, happiness which is the most weird combination you can feel while watching something, also as a cinema lover it was so much fun watching those amazing cuts, production design, and the brilliant acting of Jim, Frank Langella and others. Grateful for actors in their eighties, sixties, and fifties who still give their best to the acting carrer. I love when I sense discipline, dedication in other people, thus adds a lot to their value for me, and teach me more about self respect and contiuos endeavors towards better things. Grateful for the inspiration, the blessings that came with fine drama that reflects on your soul like a meditation in life  and a prayer for the salvation of your own heart.

Grateful that today I can let go of some of my old  negative beliefs that holded me back for a while. Grateful for being positive towards doing things I am uncertain of how it may result. Grateful for no more ‘ black or white’ thinking, and for looking for silver linings in everything. Grateful for no more ‘ catastrophic’ thinking, and for believing that every thing happens for a reason.

Grateful for the amazing  things that happened to me today. Grateful for making a new recipe for chicken with ingredients of my own for the first time. Grateful for Mashed Potatoes, black pepper, hymalian salt. Grateful for effective workouts Grateful for funny conversations. Grateful for laughter. Grateful for hot showers. Grateful for blankets.

Grateful for my Sautee vegetables meal, because it gives me vitamins,  most importantly gratification which I doubted at the beginning because I felt that boiled vegetables would be tasteless, but the truth is that it is the most savory meal on my day.
Grateful for my highly effective taste buds.

Grateful for meditative activities along my day like drinking herbals under the sun light every morning, feeling the warmth of both the sun over me, and the cup on my hand, smelling the fresh morning breeze, and sensing  the warm air from my cup on my nose.
Grateful for listening to classical music on the treadmill, and the way I sometimes make my steps, the way my body move, breath go with music,other times I completely forget that I am on the treadmill and breath and move my hand as an orchestra conductor on a stage, and may smile to the orchestra members as well.
Grateful for the time I had those prepare my meals, and all the process stages from weighing to cutting ،stirring food, adding ingredients.

Grateful for having everything I need to face any obstacles that come. Grateful for having patience because it comes with / after faith of the unknown. Grateful for will power because it comes with action and commitment and that all brings persistence. Grateful for health because it is the one and only reason that keeps me going and the ultimate destination of all my endeavors, to keep myself healthy. Grateful for my interpersonal relationships, that help me learn,evolve and look at things from alternative ways. Grateful for having the opportunity to learn, and the ability to adapt.

I would like to say thank you to :

My Mother because she brought me to this universe.
Her sense of giving never cease to exist, even when our life turned upside down, even in the darkest hours, even when she is tired, totally exhausted she offers help and support, even when she had no one to listen to her, she offers to be a listener.

My father because he never stopped to be that kind, serene person even when things gone wrong between us. Grateful for his patience, faith that grows over the years. Grateful for our small chats between us everyday over the phone in any thing, and in all things, even when he is telling me the details of how his tailor had perfectly resized his trousers, I feel excited just because we talk to each other, this is a precious life bless.