(An old journal entry…which ultimately resulted in dropping some “notting” and adding regular “having”, as the foundation for ongoing happiness!)
After being a huge advocate of appreciating what you have instead of seeing all that you don’t have or how far one falls below one’s ideal, I caught myself doing the opposite…the opposite of gratitude, of “having”. I went into “not having”.
I was not having all the progress I wanted. I was not having great energy at night, but I was “having” overwatching of tv (political commentary programs) and idly eating. I was not getting as much writing done as I wanted to. I was not being super-strong, super-powerful…able to leap tall buildings in a single bound… I was not even being what I thought was productive enough. I was not…
I was “notting” myself toward not feeling so happy.
Here I am trying to be an expert in this – and finding that even I am subject to the laws if I violate the process... (shucks)
But now I see that I can accept and just live my life as it is, with beautiful days to be appreciated, looking at great views, reading some wonderful books, discovering some wonderful things – and at the pace that is my pace for now. Yes, I’d prefer something magnificent and being a model of perfect living, but I see that what I am doing and how I am living is a wonderful gift – and I need not compare it to fantasyland.
I’m glad I saw this and wasn’t just stuck in it, in just being unaware…
It need not be more. It is more than enough. I am grateful, deeply grateful. Life is phenomenal.
I am so grateful for the special chance to be alive.
I’m happy.
Me
Yesterday, I didn’t live a full 24 hours, though I did exist. I did live some hours though and was deeply touched by a movie (The Help). So what, if I was human and lived only part of the potential… That is just what is so. But what is great is that I did live at least a few of the hours, a few at a higher level and some not so high – but all a gift – all something I might not have had if I hadn’t been born.
And…I’m grateful deep within my heart and soul…and life is good…
Wow! I think I will reread your post many times. Loved so many things about it.
Thanks for the feedback!
And I love to see people utilizing my writings on my site and blog!
KahunaKeith
(Put that name in your search engine if you want to go to the site.)
Of course I had to search you. Looking forward to “seeing ” you on YouTube
The site is livingmasterfully.com.
Thanks!
Thank you for this post, it really touched me deeply as I often find anxiety getting the better of me these days. I think it’s peri-menopause, but whatever the cause, anxiety is a tricky little monster to befriend sometimes.
I am grateful to be aware of it now though, so I catch my bad habits and be kind to myself when my mind gets the better of me. Your post was exactly what I needed right now, and reminded me that it’s ok to fall short sometimes – perhaps necessary even.
What a perfect way to summarize the traps our mind can lead us into, and the power we hold within ourselves to steer ourselves back to higher ground.
Thank you for your note. It delights me that you derived some value from it.
And, of course, we will “fall short” sometimes… because we humans have “unreasonable expectations” of ourselves (there is an article on my site to link to on that…google Keith D. Garrick and the site will come up).
My best to you in your journey!