Today I am grateful for the following:
1. Talked to my old friend Chris last night and he reminded me of the importance of forgiveness. Thanks Chris. And then during our conversation I rememberred that the most important person to forgive is myself. I can be a real perfectionist and will reserve my harshest judgements for myself. I told Chris that as I age and get just a little bit wiser, I have begun to realize that beating myself up never helps anything. It is really a self absorbed thing to do. No one benefits from my martyrdom. I went on to share with him that I seem to be hard wired for self beatings. I get all this in my head on an intellectual level, but when the rubber meets the road, there is still opportunity for growth. Guess I will be forced to deal with this one beautiful day at a time.
Thanks for writing. You are not alone in this. I find talking about it with friends helps get it out of the intellectual stage. The practice of gratitude helps a lot with perspective. It is all right to be grateful and appreciate what we have and to have aims in life, these are not contradictory, and it is a difficult balance.